What Was That?!

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I asked myself as I was sitting at my dining room table feeling a rumbling run through my neck and pass my hips when I moved my head a certain way. Within seconds it happened again. My first thought was, this is not normal, something is not right. It felt like there was an earthquake in my body. Read more...

 

I called the doctor and they scheduled an appointment for me to be seen as soon as possible. When I was getting out of my car to go into the doctor’s office, I could barely move my left leg, and I felt a sensation of what seemed to be pins under my foot. By the time I got into the doctor’s office that feeling subsided, and I was able to freely move my leg again.

 

The doctor conducted a reflex and balance examination, which I passed, but he could not tell me what the uncomfortable rumbling was in my body. Therefore, he referred me to a pain medicine physician. She also gave me an evaluation and referred me to a physical therapist. Really? I thought. What is the physical therapist going to do for me if we do not know what the source of the problem was? So, I left the hospital feeling disheartened because I was still without answers. I prayed, God, please help. I need to know what is happening and pondered which steps to take next. Later, on that same day, the pain medicine physician called me and said, “I’ve been thinking about you, and if it were me, I would want to know what is wrong, therefore, I am requesting an MRI for you. “Thank you, God,” I whispered with a sigh of relief. Now, the journey begins. Out of being a good sport, I did make an appointment with the physical therapist.

 

Once the pain medicine physician received my MRI results, she said, “I am glad we did this,” as she saw legions on my spine and referred me to a neurologist. The neurologist also ordered MRI’s, blood test and a spinal tap, which complications from sent me to the ER, not due to the way the doctor performed the procedure, but it was how my body responded to the spinal tap. I’ve never had so many blood test, and having to be in those noisy MRI machines for an hour and a half at a time, and asked not to move wasn’t exciting, but okay, I can do this. I just allowed my thoughts to take me on a journey of good melodies in my head, and calming imagery until I heard the technician say, “Oops! You moved. We have to start over.” You’ve got to be kidding me, I thought to myself. I didn’t move; at least I did not feel myself move. Did she make a mistake? Ugh, so much for calming thoughts. Okay, the journey starts again. I only had a few more MRI’s and several blood tests appointments to follow, but I was eager to have them because I was closer to getting the answers I needed.

 

While waiting for the results, life was continuously moving. I had to joyfully run a business and sing with Seventh Freedom, a rock band I have with my husband, for we had performances already scheduled.

 

The morning before one of the shows I was walking around the house on carpet without shoes, but it felt as though I was walking with a pebble under my foot. I guess I will be hopping my way to the microphone, I thought to myself, but that feeling diminished by the time I arrived at the venue in the late afternoon.

 

Occasionally, I had to manage severe fatigue, even if I had not exerted much energy and no matter what I did, or what vitamins I would take, nothing seemed to help. Once in a while, I would get sharp pains in my head, ears, and sometimes my hands would hurt when turning the steering wheel in my car. It felt as if I had sticks in my fingers. Although I did go to the doctor once about my hands, there was still no answers. I was told my hands were find, and yes, I am continuing to have the rumbling sensation in my body.

 

 

                                                                                           The RESULTS are In!

 

The neurologist called me to let me know that what he read on my X-rays indicated autoimmune disease and he scheduled an appointment for me to meet with him in his office. While at his office, in a very caring, calm and compassionate tone, he tells me, "I am confident you have Multiple Sclerosis. Some of the legions on your brain are older and a couple on your spine are new in addition to the legions that were already there. You have probably had MS for years but did not know it." He took his time in explaining further in detail and would stop in between to ask me “how are you feeling? Are you okay?" He also said, "I am going to refer you to an MS specialist." He let me know that medicine has advanced over the years and there is a treatment administered by infusion that I may benefit from, but first the MS specialist would need to do more test to determine if I was a candidate for that treatment, and if so, it could prevent the MS from progressing. The doctor was hopeful as I have high reflexs and healthy in every other aspect as per the results of my blood tests. Although, my white blood count was lower, which made sense due to the M.S.

 

How could this be? I thought. I take such good care of myself. I eat well, exercise, keep busy with positive enforcements, sleep well, and wake up happy. I did not understand when the neurologist told me "you have legions on your brain and spine." Am I in the twilight zone? Is this really happening, God? What is your plan? Where do I go from here and what did I do to receive this “GIFT?”

 

If you’ve asked these questions, you’re not alone. I know that many before me have also asked the same questions. However, new MS diagnosis continues to be revealed each day.

 

                                                                                                               CONFIRMATION

 

Amen! I am a candidate for treatment and yes, I’ve started my infusions, which takes about six hours at a time, and each treatment is scheduled with long spurts in between, but that’s okay. Fortunately, the symptoms that I live with have not progressed, but I did find out about the rumbling in my body. It is called an MS Hug. Although, it's a hug I can live without, it continues to greet me every morning and throughout the day. I guess it's very friendly.

 

                                                                                                 NOW What?

 

Fight with grace! By holding myself accountable in the way I move forward.

 

Invest my life’s time wisely. I think of the ideal way of how money should be managed. Don’t waste time on things of no value, make smart investments, think of my life’s ROI; what I want in return for my wellbeing. I must keep my doctor’s appointments and treatments, research what can help me and others in my position, and by all means, stay away from unnecessary stressful situations. I will continue to surround myself with people that I can love, people that I can give to and make a difference in their lives, choosing not to live in MS but with it, and hopefully gain a healthy ROI for life.

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